Guests-
Black Dog Nate - Nathan Rosen
Violin - Cara Garofalo
Guitar - Ryan Hoffman
lyrics
SEA DAWG
got too many jewels to fit inside a single chest
i let the riches pour onto the floor of the deck
dubloons, diamonds, rubies, and silver
it’s fitting I’m sittin eating chicken on piles of riches I pilfered
women smitten by fine linens, words i be spittin
robbin from the richest most prestigious merchants outta britain
all girls eye these jewels, even your bitch
got so much coin, people call me filthy fuckin rich
other privateers know
jealous, those guys
my ship’s so laden with gems
folks mistake it for a sunrise
and are blinded
for the rest of their lives
and now none of them can see
their house, dog, or family,
statistically
the world’s leading cause of vision loss is me
it’s why they invented optometry
I make money viciously
through thievery,
my foes frozen stiff like they got muscular dystrophy
Sea Dawg
we sail
get that gold get that gold get that gold
get that gold
get that gold get that gold get that gold
BLACK DOG NATE
get that gold get that gold get that gold
there’s gold, you say?
best get out of my way
‘cause Black Dog Nate brooks no delay
I’m on a quest for gold, and with a little bit of luck
I’ll get so much you’ll be thunderstruck
you all suck
‘cause you’re stuck in the muck
while I’m swimmin’ in doubloons like Scrooge McDuck
gonna sail the briny
to collect the shiny
leave a trail of empty treasuries behind me
don’t want your jewels, your silver or satin
just gimme that aurum (that’s gold in Latin)
gonna steal it all, or as much as I’m able
gonna pile it higher than the Tower of Babel
can’t spin it out of straw; this ain’t no fable
number seventy-nine on the periodic table
I break the mold
can’t be controlled
it’s been foretold
I’m gonna get that gold
SEA DAWG
I command more brigantines than any kings or queens
you can see a dozen off em right off my starboard beam
I’ve got piles of Escudo from Portugal,
so many pieces of eight, they are hardly transportable
spanish reals,
loot from successful steals,
this doesn’t even seem real
i got a tankard worth more than entire ports
bought it with the blood of a hundred lives cut short
BLACK DOG NATE
I’m drinking down black rum by the quart
while I steal everything you’ve got in your fort
SEA DAWG
merchants be travelin with armed escort
cause while we be alive
sailing be a contact sport
BLACK DOG NATE
my day is done
hardly had to fire my gun
but I increased my treasure by about a ton
it’s so bright
stacked to an incredible height
enough to excite any pirate’s appetite
so what’ll I do with the rest of my night?
SEA DAWG
Take a hit of this seaweed it'll treat ye right.
BLACK DOG NATE
twelve hours later I roll out of bed
feels like a cannon went off in my head
my blood runs cold
there’s nothing in the hold
damn you, Sea Dawg, you got my gold!
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